So what happened next?

Well yes, typical life crap, that's what happened, the day after my last post, 1 week into my new routine, my circumstances changed, let's just leave it at that.

I was physically attacked by a family member - I am an aspiring PhD student, pushing people around is not on my normal menu on a Sunday morning, so my stress levels went out the roof, my eczema returned with a vengeance. All of a sudden I no longer had the luxury to spend 30 minutes a day on myself and yes I started eating everything.

Nearly 2 weeks have gone by and I feel awful. I put on 2 lbs, my acid reflux always makes a show at this weight and sure enough it did now.

But this is the thing, I now long to make the change. I love my life, but it's tough I work, I have 3 kids, we live abroad, I have a child with a physical disability, a rare condition who needs a ton of medical appointments and a lot of researching into knowing what is best for her and then fighting to get it.  There has been a lot of heartache lately as she is getting older and is finding being different painful and started to withdraw into herself.

This will not change, it's a given, I just need to accept it and not make these perfect plans about when to exercise and what exactly to do. I am done planning, from today, I will just do the damn thing when I get a minute.

Week 1 Plan

1. 30-45 min run every morning
2. Gymnastics bodies Fundamentals Course
3. Sauna while watching kiddies swim
4. Diet: Paleo: no sugar and gluten

The beginning

This is not the first beginning, I have a long history of failed fitness attempts. But I think the time might be right now.

The kids are older, 5, 7 and 9. I completed my MA and decided to postpone my Ph.D. until 2020, so I have a good few years to focus on myself in my "spare time". (Insert sarcastic snort here).

Why?
There are a million reasons, but just a few:

1.  I am 40, now or never.
2. I have a sore back which needs sorting out, along with poor posture.
3. I have a stubborn mummy tum, which I just had enough of.
4. My 2 eldest girls are both gymnasts, my husband is super fit and my physically disabled daughter is a swimmer, I should better get my act together.

The goals:

1.  Fix posture and gain some functional upper body strength - must be able to lift youngest for years to come
2. Get rid of pain and tummy
3. Form some good habits now that I have time
4. And yes, I do want to be able to wear a bikini and feeling good about it!
5. +1 If through some miracle I could get some definition to my butt instead of this flatness, that would be nice.

The how...

Oh, I could write 10,000 characters about my failed attempts. I will only attempt to do things that can be done between 5-7 AM in the morning without significant investment and going out. Yeah, that is some limitation. I love running, so I can try to squeeze a run in during work hours. Swimming during the summer break.

Diet:

Yeah, again a zillion failed attempts, I normally do well on low carb/Paleo kind of diets. Am totally addicted to caffeine, Am less proud of it but am quite addicted to sugar.